Conversation: Anonymous
This subject has been brought up so many times by so many Bloggers and no matter how many more of us write about this, I know for a fact there's no magical potion we can drink or make haters drink that would stop the occasional hatred-filled comment by the infamous "anonymous".
I had restrained myself from writing this post for a long time because part of me feels that by writing this I'm giving the minds behind hateful messages a place they do not deserve. Having said that, I know many of you struggle with this and because of that I decided to share my personal thoughts and feelings on this matter.
The first thing I need to establish is that even with the number of years I've been doing this and this being my full-time job, I do not have 100% of the answers and solutions, all I've learned has been a mixture of trial and error with a pinch of meditation, restraint and the fact that the older I get, the less of a bleep I give about people whose only intention is to tear down and not build.
You might have already heard this but this business requires 2 top things: one is that you become resilient... and two, that you get your tough-cookie face on and understand that no matter what you say and how you say it people who don't have the same views as you and who have low tolerance levels can easily get offended... but the MOST important thing to grab on to when your receive a nasty comment is the fact that someone who has the best intention in mind will contact you personally, not to judge but to help.
Personally, this is the way I see it. The internet is a vast place, and as invested as we get in peoples' blogs, we are not part of their lives and won't get to know them fully because the stories written on a blog, no matter how personal they are, do not fully portray a person's values, struggles, upbringing, cultural background and beliefs.
We already live in a world deprived of privacy, liberty and kindness, so to pay attention to these horrible comments is just as damaging as writing them.
Again, I do believe this will never stop and given that I did go through a rough patch in the past with people being vocal about my opinions to the point of bringing my daughter into the mix, I disabled the ability of writing anonymous comments / comments with empty trackbacks on my blog. It has nothing to do with me not valuing my readers' opinions, as some may think, but rather with this same thought in mind, that if someone cares so much as to set aside the time to express their disagreement about something I wrote or something another commenter wrote, they'll do it the right way and understand that I'm trying to maintain the integrity of my blog and the opinions expressed by my readers.
I've received so many requests for this post and some emails broke my heart. People who are pouring out their thoughts and daily struggles, who are being bombarded with nonsense every day. If you are one of them, know that this happens to every blogger at some point. Putting your heart and soul into what you're getting out there, being fair and not stirring up controversial topics without being prepared always helps. What I'm trying to say, is that if you are not prepared to have comments from overly-opinionated people who will try their best to make you think otherwise, do not even venture into those parts of the woods... and if you do, do not feel it's an obligation to defend yourself. Be sure of what your opinion is and respect the opinion of people who have properly signed the comment so you can have a healthy conversation with someone with a face and a name.
I believe that if you know yourself, the intention behind your words and you are striving to be your own person, with your own ideas nothing that "anonymous" could write would ever get to you.
Above all, I just want you to remember that you are beautiful and special and that your opinion has weight and value and that keeping positive and protecting those you love doesn't mean you are weak or a fake. Do what feels right for your blog, you and those you love and never allow anyone to make you lose the passion for writing and encouraging others.
I believe that someone's success should never come at the expense of another. As in everything you do, remain fair, true and honest to yourself and those around you. The only person who can judge you is none other than yourself... so love yourself and cherish this time of your life because it is a wonderful one.
Please feel free to share your stories, struggles or advice.
